it has been a long while since i posted. i guess that's what happens when life gets busy and one is trying to get rooted and settled in a new place. all of that is going well for me at this point. i am very happily living in saskatoon, loving my job and the people i work with, deciding it is time to get hobbies and explore more.
in my hobby finding, world exploring state, i thought boys could be a good subject. apparently not. well, they might be. maybe they are one of those subjects best watched and studied at a safe distance, kind of like those animals at the zoo that you are supposed to look at and not touch or feed... boys, like those animals, tend to bite. in my experience anyways. i have learned once again, through the "test and fail" principle, that getting even remotely attached is painful like a band aid when ripped off.
now as i sit here somewhat bitter, confused, and over thinking the situation like a typical girl, i can see God in it. and as i see Him in it, i dislike Him. i am faced with the fact that once again He is right and i am not. i am tired of feeling like every situation in my life is a time for "growth" and "stretching", a chance for God to talk in circles around me or provide one more metaphor. even as i was trying to avoid and ignore the obvious facts and ultimate answers, i could not, and they were forced back into my reality by the one i was ignoring them for.
serves me right i guess. time to admit defeat and give in once again to God, who is ultimately better to follow anyways. i am stubborn and hate losing in this battle that only really exists in my head. God has my best in mind. His timing will always prove to be better. i am selfish, impatient, and blinded by my own desires, and in this figure it fair to blame God when things don't go my way. huh, maybe it is time to grow up.
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4 comments:
Patti! I am glad you came back, I check most times I am on here just in case! And today was a day of rejoicing! Yah, God always is right..ugh, I lose sight of that too often. Be encouraged and know that His best interest is before you. I will pray for you heart love!
The good thing about Band-aids is they only stick for a few minutes.
You're a good lesson learner... these are things I wanted to tell you last weekend but just didn't want to. Sounds better from God and not me, don't you say? ^_^
Love ya!
and by stick I mean sting. This is how tired I am...
And I will take the opportunity in this other box to tell you again that I am rooting for you.
i love you guys so much! thanks for being so awesome and such amazing supports no matter what i'm rejoicing in or struggling with.
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